Just For Today: Daily NA Meditations

Losing self-will

Page 289

"Our egos, once so large and dominant, now take a back seat because we are in harmony with a loving God. We find that we lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when we lose self-will."

Basic Text, p. 105

Addiction and self-will go hand in hand. The unmanageability that we admitted to in Step One was as much a product of our self-will as it was of our chronic drug abuse. And today, living on self-will can make our lives just as unmanageable as they were when we were using. When our ideas, our desires, our demands take first place in our lives, we find ourselves in constant conflict with everyone and everything around us.

Self-will reflects our reliance on ego. The only thing that will free us from self-will and the conflict it generates in our lives is to break our reliance on ego, coming to rely instead on the guidance and power offered us by a loving God.

We are taught to consult spiritual principles, not our selfish desires, in making our decisions. We are taught to seek guidance from a Higher Power, one with a larger vision of things than our own. In doing this, we find our lives meshing more and more easily with the order of things around us. No longer do we exclude ourselves from the flow of life; we become a part of it, and discover the fullness of what recovery has to offer.

Just for Today: I seek freedom from ego and the conflicts generated by self-will. I will try to improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding, seeking the guidance and power I need to live in harmony with my world.

Source: na.org

Surrendering to Group Conscience

Page 286

"How do you know when it's time to speak up against a decision of the majority? When it's time to accept a decision and surrender to group conscience?"

Twelve Concepts for NA Service, Study Materials, "Ninth Concept"

Once a group or service body makes a decision, we are all supposed to go with the flow, right? But what if the decision goes against our gut, isn't in harmony with the Traditions, lacks compassion by excluding some members, or puts a Band-Aid on a larger issue? Maybe the decision wasn't made with all pertinent information available. Was it truly an informed group conscience, or was it more like a popularity contest? What if we know for sure that the content of the decision has been tried before and it failed miserably? What if the group is wrong and we are right?

We have a process, and once that process is complete, to thwart group conscience creates disunity and confusion. Members then have to take sides, or not. Some leave the group or resign from their position instead, telling us "personal recovery depends on NA unity" on the way out.

The Ninth Concept of NA Service is clear that hearing all points of view is essential to developing a group conscience. But it's up to us as members to determine which perspectives have the most validity. The time to accept and surrender to a decision occurs immediately after our point of view has been heard, and the group elects to stay the course--despite what our gut is telling us.

If we are right and things fall apart later, we can be part of the solution--with humility. Even as we are reminded time and time again that we're not always right, we must also accept that others are sometimes wrong and there isn't anything we can do about it.

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Today I will participate in NA service with as much surrender and acceptance as possible. If need be, I will say to my group, "Well, I hope I'm wrong!" and do my best to mean it.

Source: na.org